Watch Groundhog Day – one of the best comedies of the 90s – if you want to know what it means to feel stuck in life and laugh instead of crying.
The hero in this hilarious movie gets stuck in a time loop that forces him to relive the day of February 2nd indefinitely. He can’t take it anymore and tries by all means to end his meaningless existence.
By all the craziest means, he tries to commit suicide, but nothing works. On the very same day the next day, the same people, the same place, and the same day start all over again for him…
Until the day when he finally manages to live this day the way it should be!
When you watch this good old comedy, you can see similarities with yourself if you feel stuck in your life.
Do you find yourself in the same dead ends and doing the same things over and over again?
Maybe your indecision or perfectionism cause you to put off important work indefinitely.
Maybe you feel trapped in a toxic relationship without having the courage to face it.
Maybe you’ve stopped going to the gym or meditation sessions that used to do you so much good because of a lack of discipline.
Maybe you’re a mess in every area of your life and feel powerless to do anything to get things back on track.
You’re not moving forward. You feel discouraged. You are in an endless loop where the same scenario repeats itself. You are stuck!
All of us experience it at some point, and it is possible to get out of it.
Even though it may seem impossible at first, there is always a way out.
The first thing to understand is that you don’t get unstuck by ignoring the blockage but by turning to it. To get unstuck, you have to accept it, embrace it, and work through it.
Seven Principles for Getting Unstuck
Being able to get out of what is holding you back and get back on track in life is all about attitude.
Let’s see what it’s all about:
1. Don’t avoid the difficulty but face it
If you avoid thinking about what’s bothering you, your finances, your lack of motivation, your relationships, your diet, or your lack of organization, little will change.
For something to change, you must first accept the difficulty. Then it becomes possible to face it.
The willingness to face the difficulty and work with it is one of the most important conditions for change.
2. Decide to solve the problem
If we want something different to happen, we must decide to change. It’s as simple as that. Yet too often we get stuck in an in-between state. We want to change but we haven’t made a clear and firm decision to do so.
A clear and firm decision means that we let go of the questions that instill doubt in our minds about whether we should solve the problem. These are questions like “should I take control of this situation or just give up? “.
Instead, we need to commit ourselves fully to solving the problem: “I don’t know what the solution is yet, but I’m going to find it no matter what.”
Then, we can ask ourselves “Where do I start? “.
You are setting an intention to get out of your dead-end.
3. Add a good dose of humor
This article began with a reference to a comedy. It was for a good reason. Humor is a great way to distance ourselves from our problems and regain confidence in our ability to change.
When I coach clients, humor is always part of the conversation. It helps to reframe the situation and adopt a positive perspective.
It is one of my favorite tools.
4. Be kind with yourself
Our self-esteem is affected when we keep falling into the same trap.
As a result, we feel frustrated, discouraged, and disappointed in ourselves.
The negative image that is created then becomes the source of harsh and unfair accusations. We become ruthless judges of ourselves.
Does this make things better?
No, on the contrary. It only makes the problem worse by getting us down even more!
Wouldn’t it be better to show some kindness instead?
This does not mean that we become complacent and stop wanting to change.
It means we don’t add self-discouragement to our list of challenges.
It means we stop being our own worst enemy.
It means we add a little more compassion and encouragement to our journey.
This means that we regain confidence in ourselves to change.
5. Do it step by step
Let’s say you haven’t exercised for years, you’ve been eating whatever you feel like (sweet, salty, fatty, carbs), and you decide overnight to stop all that and adopt a healthier, more balanced lifestyle.
How do you get started?
Good luck if you think that starving yourself and exhausting yourself at the gym will get you there!
Instead, I would recommend starting with a small step forward, such as stopping putting sugar in your coffee.
This small change, which may be difficult for some, can become your first step in the right direction. By doing so you will trigger a confidence building process to make further progress.
Focus on small victories that will gradually gain momentum and make a huge difference in your results.
6. Aim for progress, not perfection
Beware, perfectionism is a trap that can keep you stuck where you are for a very long time. Instead, aim for progress that puts you in the right direction.
It is better to have an imperfect action that moves you forward than the idea of a perfect action that paralyzes you and prevents you from taking action.
7. Do it with others
Most blocked people hide their game well so that no one will find out about it and they try to solve their problem entirely on their own.
This is often the reason why these people keep being stuck when they could be moving forward quickly!
“All By Myself” is the syndrome of blocked people!
And yet, we all need help to progress.
Wanting to solve your problems alone, without help from anyone, is often a handicap that prevents you from starting the change you need to do.
It is so much more effective to do it with someone who cares or with a support group that accompanies you, supports you and pushes you forward.
Once you start moving, you will feel better and leave behind the feeling of being stuck. That’s what matters most.
This is true if you want to lose 10 kilos, run a marathon, change your job, start a business, improve your relationships, develop your emotional quotient, have more self-confidence or any other change that makes you evolve in your life.
To unblock your life and take off, it is better to be well accompanied than alone.